Narcissism in a World of Self-Esteem

This article highlights the product of years of “self-esteem enhancement,” forced upon children from the earliest years of their lives. It’s been taught at home, at school, and (I would suspect) in church. “You are special,” I was told countless times as a child, even into my teen years. I wasn’t even close to my family, but I was still inundated with the message that I was something special and that I needed to have great confidence in myself. I liked it at the time, because it made me feel good. But now, I see that today’s teens and twenty-somethings have been conditioned to become highly self-absorbed narcissists. Arrogance, concealed by such pleasant terms as “self-esteem,” burgeons in our hearts from the earliest days, fueled by haphazard parenting and the merciless promotion of individualism at school. Like Pavlov’s dogs, my generation has been conditioned to the point of self-worship, salivating eagerly when any attention is paid to them.

Reaping What We’ve Sown

It is quite evident that the so-called “Self-Esteem Movement” has led to young people abounding in selfishness and pride. But what sparked this movement in the first place? I would like to suggest that perhaps our culture’s fairly-recent obsession with self-esteem is born of a rejection of the Gospel. We have invented this monster called “self-esteem” out of a misunderstanding of Creation, and its effects have been a misunderstanding of Redemption.

Sowing From a Misunderstanding of Creation…

First, the Self-Esteem Movement seems to be an attempt to compensate for a post-Christian worldview which denies that God created man in His image. If we understood how God created us, there would be no need for “self-esteem.” With a solid understanding of God, a man needn’t think too highly (or lowly) of himself. This is because a proper understanding of who God is is essential to a proper understanding of who we are. Without having a healthy image of God, we cannot possibly have a healthy self-image. If we have a Biblical view of God, we are much more likely to have a Biblical view of ourselves. But if we do not believe that God created man in His own image, then we must find meaning in something else.

So, A Biblical understanding of mankind should greatly humble us, all while giving us confidence not by commending us for who we are, but by bringing to light the gracious God who has both created and redeemed us. Without this Biblical worldview, however, we find ourselves scrambling to take hold of some system of meaning, and instilling self-worship into our kids is apparently the best we’ve got. So, with our misconstrued idea of Creation, we have created the concept of self-esteem to give a sense of meaning to our existence.

Reaping a Misunderstanding of Redemption…

Although the Self-Esteem Movement was built upon a post-Christian idea of the creation of man, its effects have also been a non-Biblical view of redemption. The encouragement of self-esteem has pushed us to “believe in ourselves.” Without God as a source of purpose, we’ve come to the miserable conclusion that we truly are on our own and must do our best to feel good about ourselves in order to find hope. As realists, we recognize the fallen, broken world around us. But without a Redeemer, and with no confidence in others, we have come to rely wholly on our inflated view of ourselves to bring change, as if we were the saviors of the broken world in which we live. This is the goal of self-esteem: to construct a sense of hope in light of a decaying world, hope that is found within oneself.

We all like to think of ourselves as heroes and saviors. I’m sure most men who saw The Matrix (which seems to be nearly every guy under 40 in America) felt the closest connection with Neo, “the One.” Or for those of us who are so obsessed with the Halo video game series, it’s exciting to play the role of Master Chief, the earth’s last hope in a cosmic war. And while these characters are purely fantasy, we cannot help but think of ourselves as someone special, a “savior” of sorts. This is absolutely a false gospel created by the Self-Esteem Movement. Who would have known that such aspirations to be our own savior would have come from our parents continually telling us that we are “special?”

Narcissism is growing ever stronger in our culture. And while most of us claim to be fed up with the self-esteem gospel, few of us have been able to shed the habitual self-seeking behavior it has bound us to. Even now, as a believer in Christ, I find myself subconsciously expecting that I might be some great man, a savior of sorts, who may be idolized by large numbers of people. Thank God that He found me and showed me something far greater than that.