We Need More Conflict In Our Churches!

What? Did I just say that? Am I off my rocker?

Perhaps. But despite every effort of my mind to dismiss such a peculiar, radical statement, I have come to embrace it, realizing that yes, we do in fact need more conflict in our churches.

Now, such a statement can’t be made without careful explanation. So give me a minute before you click the X in the corner of the window and vow never to visit my site again. It is, after all, easy to misinterpret the argument that more, not less, conflict is needed in our churches.

Firstly, I am not at all advocating division, anger, or hatred. Instead, I am advocating the exact opposite: unity, love, and forgiveness. But what does conflict have to do with that?

Forget, for a moment, everything you’ve been conditioned to think about church community. I am about to argue that conflict is, in fact, absolutely necessary in order for true unity to occur. Even more, without conflict, there can be no true love, nor even true forgiveness within the Church. Why then do we look at conflict as such a bad thing?

Well, conflict makes us uncomfortable. It’s awkward, frustrating, and messy at times. Therefore, most of us try our best to be non-confrontational pushovers and avoid all conflict in an attempt to live peaceful lives. Yet in our broken world, there can be no peace without conflict!

How can this be? Isn’t “tolerance” the key to unity? Shouldn’t we do our “best to be at peace with all men?”

Yet again I say, there is no peace without conflict. We must realize that conflict can be a very, very good thing. In itself, conflict is amoral; there is positive and negative conflict. Schisms and divisions in the Church are an example of negative conflict. But we’ve overreacted to this evil and sought to escape any conflict altogether!

So now, Church discipline no longer exists. Congregations are encouraged to try their best to live for Jesus but are never held accountable for their actions, nor called out or rebuked when they are living in unrepentant sin. Evil, destructive, false doctrines that deny the very nature of Christian salvation have crept into the Church, and yet no one raises so much as a finger against it, all in the name of “tolerance.” After all, exposing a dangerous, false teaching would cause conflict, and that’s the last thing we want.

What is mind-boggling is the fact that by avoiding conflict at all costs, we think we’re promoting unity. That idea is dead wrong. Without conflict, there can be no unity. After all, we are called to be of “one mind” (Philippians 2:2). Being of 100 (or more) different minds but making an effort to get along anyway is NOT Christian unity. So, in order to become single-minded, conflict must occur among us, drawing out and destroying the heresies and false ways we all have bought into. It is evident throughout Paul’s letters that true unity is achieved through positive, loving conflict—not so-called “tolerance.”

If we truly want community, we must expect conflict. A group of people who never have any conflict among them clearly don’t care about each other. If they did care about each other, they would be rebuking sin and taking the Word of God seriously. True love requires conflict, simply because we are all sinful people.

Furthermore, there is no forgiveness without conflict. The Bible instructs us how to confront those who have sinned against us in Matthew 18. When we go to our brother and explain to him his fault, the hope is that he will repent. What is implied here is that we, after confronting our brother, forgive him when he listens and repents. In doing so, we will have gained our brother (v. 15). Yet without this conflict, forgiveness cannot truly take place; if we merely gloss over someone’s sin, minimizing it as if it were “no big deal,” then there is apparently nothing to forgive. And, on the other hand, holding something against someone without confronting them about it is sinful and leads only to gossip and slander, which are despicable in God’s sight.

True forgiveness comes out a recognition that sin is sin, and any attempt to simply ignore the sin is not forgiveness at all. It must be confronted, as those who truly love each other will do everything in their power to keep each other from destroying themselves in sin. We can’t just let people slip by. This conflict is absolutely essential to true community, unity in truth, love and forgiveness.

We must realize that the Christian life is rooted in conflict; Christ came “not to bring peace, but a sword” (Matthew 10:34). We should reject the postmodern lie that “tolerance” brings peace. After all, peace will only come after Christ utterly destroys all of His enemies and releases His Elect from their bodies of sin and death.

For now, experiencing healthy conflict is necessary and wise among the Body of Christ. I’m tired of passing off sin and falsehood as “no big deal.” Doing so is sin in itself. I need to be willing to cause conflict when it is necessary and called for by the Scriptures. Surely, this conflict will make the church a bit messy, embarrassing, and frustrating at times. There’s no denying that. Yet we must stop pretending that we are living in unity when in fact we are chasing after some unattainable ideal that is in no way rooted in Scripture. We need more conflict in our churches.